Different Kinds of Strength
by Dienekes
Summary: Esdeath has always known that strength was the most important virtue in a violent world. But will the strength that has carried her this far also apply to matters of the heart? She struggles to reconcile her overwhelming power in battle with her seeming powerlessness with Tatsumi in a brutal self-reflection that exposes the core of the Empire's strongest.
1. Chapter 1: Kill the Confusion

**Different Kinds of Strength**

**Chapter 1: Kill The Confusion**

_Author's Note- There is a tragic beauty in Esdese's story, the Empire's strongest who's philosophy works elegantly for warfare. But does it work just as elegantly when it comes to matters of the heart?In my desire to explore this issue myself with impatience for the manga, I've decided to go onwards with my own interpretation. As this will likely deviate from the manga, I suppose it will be an alternate divergence kind of story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do._

"All that matters is that you're here again, Tatsumi," Esdese said, feeling her heart fluttering with joy at the sight of her love. She knelt down to take a kiss. But as she drew close, Tatsumi pushed her violently away.

"Why. . ." Esdese asked, eyes frantically searching her Tatsumi for clues. "Why deny this kiss now?"

Tatsumi leveled his steely gaze to her. "I'm going out with someone else!"

Esdese's breath caught within her and she recoiled as if struck backwards by a hammer.

_What is this feeling? _Her breaths came shallow and quick as she brought a hand to her own heart.

_What is this weakness? _

Most strangely, it wasn't anger that she felt. An older impulse called out for her to strike Tatsumi and put him in his place, but a new impulse-a strange heretofor unknown impulse—would not so much as allow her to raise her hand. . . no, even worse, it would not even allow her to look him in the eye.

_I feel . . . _she got up, and without so much as looking at him, she turned back to the exit. Her eyes narrowed, as she looked at the cage door. When she'd entered the cell, she'd latched it behind herself, ever careful not to let her love slip away once more. But now, all she wanted was to go somewhere else, and the door was in her way.

Her broiling emotions within her finally found an outlet, and her rage came pouring out. _GET. OUT. OF. THE. WAY. _Her eyes flashed with rage and, lowering her shoulder, she smashed through the metal bars with a single fluid backhand, shattering the steel of the frame, the bars gave a wailing shriek as they tore apart, their twisted remains finally clattering to silence in the corner of the dirty room. The pain on her arm felt almost reassuring, a warm trickle of blood seeped through the fabric of her arm as she moved outside of the jailcell where her subordinates, Wave and Kurome, waited. _My reliable subordinates, fast becoming a very effective team. _

"Commander!" Wave said, glancing worriedly down to her arm, but he knew better than to show any sympathy for her wounds. He stood tall, as if asking her to command him. Kurome stood behind him, relaxing against the wall, her own form of standing at attention.

"No one touches Tatsumi," she said in her most brutal, flat tone, "And he does _not_ evade you again, Wave."

She stormed through the halls, all those who saw her, military, political, and civilian, cleared the way in front of her, casting fearful gazes like frightened rabbits.

_The strong win and the weak lose, _the thought appeared clearly in her head. And yet. . . if Tatsumi liked someone else more than he liked her. _I lost. _

_Am I. . . _

_Weak? _


	2. Chapter 2: Kill the Solitude

**Chapter 2: Kill the Solitude**

_AN: Thank you all for the warm welcome! I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one with great interest in this character. ^_^_

_(Years Prior, in a village at the northern extreme of the Empire)_

"Be strong, Esdese."

She watched her father fade away, his sputterings die down. There was no saving him, not with four spears jammed squarely into his chest.

_Dad. . . _

She breathed in the scent of death and ash as her tribe lay massacred around her, her eyes blurry. It was the ash, getting into her eyes. _He's dead. _

Esdese had gone out hunting alone. She was proving herself to be a better hunter every day. Her father always gave her the warmest congratulatory smiles when she brought him the carcasses of the latest danger beasts she had conquered. She loved to make her father smile.

Encouraging her progress, he'd told her that he was proud, that she was a natural hunter, that she'd be the strongest warrior in their tribe. He'd encouraged her to keep getting stronger. He'd rustled her hair and given her warm hugs.

But in death, his smile had faded away. He was just limp now, and getting cold as the last remnants of life fled his body.

It must have been many enemies. Her father was covered with many small wounds on all sides of his body, which indicated a prolonged, confused melee. _How many warriors did it take to cut you down, father? How strong were they? _

Her mind swam with painful emotions, but she pushed them all aside. _I will be stronger than this, _she told herself. _I will be stronger than all of them. _

Breathing deeply, she rose to her feet, and began to search the bodies of the dead, friend and enemy alike, for the equipment she'd need. They did not protest. She needed only to roll over their limp, cold corpses, ripping open their bags and emptying their pockets. A deadly quiet hung over her former village, where only ash and silence remained.

There was nothing left for her here and she knew she needed to leave. Esdese turned to the south, not knowing what lay in that direction and never having ventured far from home.

She walked until the sun fell, the paths becoming less and less familiar. When the sun fell, she made her bed in the crisp leaves under the forest canopy.

And then the cold rain began to fall, mocking her misfortune, soaking everything and making the familiar warmth of fire impossible.

She shivered in the bed she'd made among the leaves, the rain soaking her clothes in a bitter coldness. And it was there, as she lay on the ground, that she began to feel just how truly alone she was.

No one would offer her a blanket. No one would chastise her for not making shelter earlier. No one would offer a grisly joke about the depressing weather.

It was just her now. And that had to be enough.

She would teach herself that this was enough. _I can make sure I am strong enough to survive, _she thought to herself. _But I can never trust anyone else to do the same. _

_If I need someone. . . they will be a weakness I cannot afford. _

_In the south, I will find the strongest thing there, and I will grow my power until I can conquer it or annihilate it. _

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_(Years Later, in the Capital)_

Captain Perre was a middle-aged, joweled man. He worked as an instructor at the military academy in the Imperial capital and was a very busy man. Despite that, a cadet had the gall to insist to meet him. Although annoyed, he did not turn the request down outright.

"Yes then. . . Cadet Esdese, was it?"

He was unsurprised to see one of the most arrogant young women he'd ever seen. She walked into _his _office with a commanding presence, a sly grin on her lips, and she quickly appraised his office, as if sizing him up. He raised his eyebrows. _And what special treatment are you coming to demand, young lady? _

"How. . ." he began clearing his throat, and putting his papers aside as if to show her that he had more important matters to attend to, "Uhm. . . can I help you then, cadet?"

She bowed and gave a crisp salute, extremely good form, and yet still had that mocking grin plastered on her face. _Kids these days. . . this one will need extra discipline. She doesn't know her place. _

"I'm reporting that tonight, after lights out, I will be assaulted in my bunk."

Perre cleared his throat. "Assaulted?"

"Yes sir, in the female dormitory, five male students will break in and they will attempt to rape and kill me." Perre was taken aback by the declaration, but the thing that truly confused him was that she was still smiling.

"Well if you wish, we could fill out a formal request for transfer. . . if you can keep yourself out of trouble for the next few. . ."

"I appreciate your offer, but no request for transfer will be necessary." Esdese interjected with a continuation of her smile.

Apart from being interrupted, her dismissal of protocol was simply too much for Captain Perre. "Then what on earth are you requesting apart from these baseless insinuations, Cadet?"

Esdese's smile darkened. "I request the right to kill them when they make their attack."

Perre laughed. _Fine, this arrogant little bitch wants to fight a five on one. . . perhaps I will not be needed to punish her after all. These other cadets will do the job for me. _

"You have my permission."

Esdese saluted. "I'd appreciate it in writing if I might make such a request, Captain."

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Esdese pushed herself up from the puddle of blood she was kneeling in. She could feel the rage rolling through her as she gazed down at the corpses of the five boys, her knuckles dripping with gore.

"Thank you for the fun," she muttered softly, lips curled upwards in a smile.

_The world is filled with these, people who will try to kill, rape, and harm anyone, even their own allies at the slightest sign of weakness. Once they made themselves my enemy, there was only for me to be annihilated or for them. I was the stronger warrior. _

_And when I get my Teigu. . . No one will ever make themselves my enemy again. No one will ever try to take from me again. _

They would need to scrape much of what was left of these boys off of the walls. She hoped that this would be an abject lesson to the others.

_Do not make an enemy of me, or suffer the fate of the vanquished. Because I will not fall to any of you._

A strange part of her felt relief. And for some reason, she imagined that her father was smiling at her.

_Be strong Esdese. _

_I am. _

_And I will be the strongest. _

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_(Present Time)_

"Why won't you smile?" Esdese said softly.

Tatsumi sat, his hands bound with iron chains, head bowed. He had not looked at her in the last hour. She'd shown him the lovely outfit she'd purchased just to look beautiful for him. She'd shown him every species of rare flower that her scouts had been ordered to procure. In front of him were the five best dinners from the five best restaurants in the capital, all growing stale and cold, sitting untouched in front of him.

"Tatsumi. . ." as she tried to touch his hand, he drew it away.

Esdese's eyes widened as she felt that familiar ripple of emotional torment tear through her. Each dismissal from Tatsumi had begun to pain her like a mortal wound. And each rejection twisted the knife deeper into her heart.

Esdese was never one to be less than completely direct about what it was she wanted. "Tatsumi, what do I need to do to make you smile?" she asked, forcing a confident smile. They all felt so forced recently. . .

Tatsumi muttered his first words of the night, his rusty chains clinked upon his raw wrists as he came to motion. "That's just it, isn't it? You don't know what makes anyone smile except for yourself. This empire brings nothing but misery into the world, and you are its champion."

And he gazed at her for the first time of the night, his eyes blazing defiance. "How can you inflict so much pain and then ask others to be happy?"

_He always talks about pain. But all I do is fight. It isn't my fault that I am never conquered. It isn't my fault that when the fight is done, it is always my enemies that are at my mercy and not the other way around. _

And yet now, the same logic didn't seem to apply. With Tatsumi, pain and joy were not meaningless concepts of the weak. _With Tatsumi. . . _"Your happiness matters to me, Tatsumi. . ."

"And why not the happiness of everyone else in the nation who is suffering?"

"Because you're. . ." she felt herself blushing with sheer embarrassment. "You're what I want. You're . . . the one I want to. . . love."

"I will never love a sadist who hurts everyone around her, who only cares about the thing that she wants for herself."

Esdese felt her heart seize in her chest. She still wasn't used to it. . . this pain. This was a new and entirely overwhelming weakness that was growing within her.

_What is wrong with me? _

She slammed the door behind her as she left Tatsumi in her cell, she was breathing heavily, and yet she hadn't exerted herself physically at all. She'd been standing idly and talking. . . to get her huffing this much it normally took a ten mile run at eighty percent speed.

She was falling apart.

She needed to do something drastic.

She tore into her room, ripped open drawers in her bathroom and pulled out a pair of scissors. Without a second thought, she began to sheer her hair away, determination shining in her gaze. _In my current form, I cannot have you, Tatsumi, _she thought. _I will change my form to the thing you most respect and admire and I will take you. I will take every ounce of you. _

Her eyes blazed. _Tatsumi, your body, your fighting spirit, your smile, they will all belong to me. _


	3. Chapter 3: Kill the Identity

**Chapter 3: Kill The Identity**

_(Esdese's Private Quarters, in The Imperial Palace)_

There was blood everywhere.

Most of it wasn't her own, but came from the twenty or so prisoners she had beaten to death with her bare hands, all of them making pathetic whimpers, and infantile screams of pain and fear. This hadn't cheered her up like it normally would. It didn't feel like she was the unstoppable general administering justice with her hands. She felt like a frustrated girl.

_Alone. _

And no matter how many skulls she'd crushed with her bare hands that hadn't changed.

_Alone. _

Her bed was upturned. Her mirror smashed upon the floor. Half of her clothes were torn to pieces. She was panting. It had taken her a fair bit of time to destroy it all.

Memories of her childhood, of her entire village dead in the ashes came back to her.

_Why did you leave me alone, father? What did I do wrong? _

She slammed her fist into the shattered glass another more familiar feeling rushed through her. _You were WEAK. You were a FAILURE as a father. I was STRONGER than you. I have ALWAYS BEEN STRONGER. _

She took a deep breath. _I will always be alone in this world filled with these miserable creatures. _

She walked, glass crunching under her boots, and picked up a picture frame that she'd intentionally turned towards the floor. She did not want to look at him when she was in such a miserable state. Turning it over, she gazed at the picture she'd had painted of Tatsumi. The painter had completely ruined his face, but he'd come barely close enough for Esdese to spare him a beating.

"Tatsumi," she muttered breathlessly. _You are the perfect man in every way, but your mind has been poisoned by foolishness. _She brought the picture of him to her chest and imagined that it was him she held in her arms. _I will save you. You will be mine. And we will be. . . perfect. _

She opened her eyes, and narrowed them into a deadly glare, _those who have poisoned your mind first need to be removed. _

Esdese straightened out her clothes, set her hat upon her head to hide her recent haircut, and strode proudly into the halls until she busted into the Jaeger's conference room.

Kurome and Wave were both there, and there was a single cake sitting between them. _How. . . cute._ Esdese grinned.

"I have new orders for you both. First, procure Dorothea. I require her talents in order to infiltrate Night Raid and assassinate their leadership one after another from within. After that, I will be needing both of you to put on a little show before I depart. As for what you will be doing in my absence. . . Kurome, you are to replentish your dolls by killing the strongest fighters in the Revolutionary army from their main army group which is advancing up from the south, delay their advance if you wish, but your primary objective will be the enslavement of their strongest warriors. Wave, you are to recruit from any and all Imperial organizations. Do not recruit any weaklings. . . either of you."

Both Kurmoe and Wave gave a salute.

_Good. _

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

When it was all done, Esdese took a careful look at herself in the mirror. Dying her now-short hair to a light brown had been the easy part, the contacts that changed her eye color and pupil shape had been a tad bit more difficult, and of course, without Dorothea, the slight tanning of her skin would have been impossible overnight.

From there, Esdese wrapped her chest tightly, to give herself the appearance of smaller breasts. From there it was a few minutes of practice with a much lower vocal tone, and a few slight adjustments to her smiles, and vacant expressions. _I can't walk as confidently either, I'll need to bow my head down a bit more, _she told herself.

For weapons, she would go without the hand-to-hand fighting and instead opted for a well-made shortbow with deadly titanium tipped arrows with razor serration and a beautifully curved dagger.

It was all little things.

_I am not Esdese anymore, I am Serra, a revoluionist-sympathizing hunter and assassin from the northern tribes. _The boyishly short brown hair, and the wild outfit of a northern hunter certainly had their own kind of beauty. . . And the softer smiles _like one of those idiotically idealistic, softer-willed women that Night Raid loves recruiting so much._

_I will carve out the cockroaches from the inside. But first. . . _

"_PRISON BREAK!" _she heard the guards yelling in confusion as the clangs of metal and riot began to echo from the lower levels.

_General Budo will slaughter all of you weaklings, _she thought with a smug smile. _But you give me the perfect back-story, and the perfect distraction. . ._

And there was also one more thing. She took the sword she'd been saving up until now and, gritting her teeth, she stabbed herself in the gut. Esdese had never felt the penetration of a blade, and the level of white-hot pain took her by surprise, causing her to let out a hiss. _Good, it will look fresh. _She could immediately feel the gush of warm blood oozing from her.

Tossing the sword aside, she ran towards Tatsumi's cell. An unfortunate guard lingered in the hall and immediately began to draw his weapon upon seeing what appeared to be an escaping prisoner. She threaded through the huge holes in his swing and carved open his neck, her dagger decorating the walls with a glorious spray of blood, all while not moving unnecessarily to tear open her wound any more than it was. She basked in the warm spray, her heart pumping with excitement. _Fall, weakling. _

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_(Inside his prison cell within the Capital Palace) _

Tatsumi broke the awkward silence of his cell. The two had been staring at different corners of the room for too long for even him to bear and it had been days since Tatsumi had traded words with anyone.

"Wave, was it?"

"We have no words to trade, killer," Wave muttered darkly, though his expression looked troubled.

_I know he is a good man, _Tatsumi thought. He'd spent time with Wave and the man had seemed honorable, fair, brave. _Maybe if I'd been accepted into the military, and hadn't seen the evils of the aristocracy first-hand, I would be where wave is now. . . and maybe he would be in my place. _

"You're a good man, Wave. You should be with us."

Wave narrowed his eyes. "The evil people flourish in lawlessness and confusion. This revolution would threaten everyone from my village. The number of people who would die would be immense!" he barked, eyes bright with indignation, "I cannot respect a man who wants to bring that kind of disorder."

"Haven't you seen how much disorder flourishes already? In the corruption here?"

Wave grimaced. "I told you that we had no words to trade," he growled.

_He will try to make it better from within, _Tatsumi thought to himself. _I am a warrior trying to destroy the empire, and he fights to protect it, and yet we are the closest thing to allies apart from our own units. . . _

"The commander really loves you, you know," Wave said, speaking as if the entire thing were a big misfortune.

Tatsumi smiled bitterly. "She thinks she loves me. That woman. . . she doesn't love anything other than herself. . . and death."

Wave approached the cell threateningly. Tatsumi could see dark anger in his eyes. "You don't know the first thing about her, you ignorant little bastard. Do you know she visits the graves of every fallen soldier that died under her command? Do you know she looks after their families?"

"She does those things for herself!" Tatsumi shot back.

"If only I had the orders to beat some sense into you."

Just as he spoke, distant shouts and clangs of metal began to vibrate in through the door. "GRAND CHARIOT!" Wave shouted, covering himself in armor. He looked back one last time to Tatsumi, running his hands over the solid metal of the cage. "Be back soon," he muttered, before darting with extreme speed from the door.

Tatsumi moved to the bars immediately, stretching his arm out to see if he could reach anything, a potential weapon, a drawer, a stick. . .

_Anything._

But even as he felt pain in his shoulder as he couldn't squeeze any farther from the bars, his hands were nowhere close to anything. It was just empty floor. Tatsumi slumped against the bars and listened closely. _Is that you Mien? Have you come with the others to rescue me? _He hoped, even though another part of him hoped she hadn't, knowing that Night raid could never defeat Budo, Wild Hunt, and Edese in one fell swoop.

Indeed, the clambering had already begun to die down. Whoever had made the disturbance was likely being torn to ribbons by Esdese, Budo, etc. . .

_It's hopeless isn't it? I will be that insane woman's playingthing until the end. . . _

Other thoughts plagued him. _Wave isn't stupid, why would he defend Esdese? Could she really be anything but a self-obsessed monster? _

As he thought this, the door slammed open. A slender girl with soft brown hair staggered inside, blood trailing behind her, her breathing was ragged and she held a blood-stained dagger in her hands.

Her gaze fell to Tatsumi and she smiled weakly. "I dont think I'll make it much farther," she said breathily. "But the guard who did this to me dropped this."

Gasping, she limped to the cell door and produced a blood-smeared key, and with a click and a turn, Tatsumi's door swung open. "Run," she muttered weakly, collapsing against the bars. "Leave me get out of this horrible place."

Tatsumi's eyes went wide. _A miracle, _he thought. _The chances of this are. . . _he lunged to his feet, shoved through the bars, and made for the shelf on the far side of the room. And there it hung, a blade, chain hanging from the handle.

He grasped the blade.

"INCURSIO!"

The blade roared to life, responding to his command, and the armor instantly shrouded him in impenetrable plating, ripples of power going through his body.

_I can go invisible, _he thought to himself. _But. . . _

He gazed to the young woman, shivering and dying on the floor, her clothes ratty and torn. _How long has she been in this place. . . I've been imprisoned for days. . . she could have been here for. . . _

He looked at her on the floor and saw that she was smiling. _She's so happy that she got me out of here. . . _

And he knew he couldn't leave her.

He hefted her up in his arms and as he hefted her up over his shoulder, he saw a close look of her face. When he gazed at her he felt the warmth of a blush spread furiously over his cheeks. _She's. . . beautiful, _

Remembering his situation, he punched himself solidly in the head, _Stupid, dirty Tatsumi. You're taken. And you have bigger worries. _

"I'll get you out," he said reassuringly. Holding carefully onto the girl on his back, he smashed the wall of the room with a violent kick, rock and masonry shattering outwards, revealing his escape.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Esdese smiled as she felt Tatsumi wildly jumped through the air, making his conspicuous escape. _You love playing hero, don't you Tatsumi. . . That you believe that silliness so predictably. . . that's what I love about you. _

_When I have eliminated all those who fill your mind with such foolishness. . . you will finally understand that we were meant to be. _

While it felt wrong to let anyone save her. It felt strangely nice. . . to let Tatsumi be her hero.


	4. Chapter 4: Kill the Ego

**Chapter 4: Kill the Ego**

_(On the outskirts of the Imperial city)_

Esdese blinked the blurriness from her eyes. The wind sifted through thousands of leaves like the gentle sweep of a vast broom. Birds sang, albeit cautiously.

Esdese's analytical mind immediately determined their location. _Wilderness, not deep wilderness, perhaps 10 miles off a main road. Low likelihood of dangerous predators. . ._

Edese snapped awake. _Where am. . ._

She immediately tensed up, hand reaching for the dagger at her side.

"So you're awake?"

Edese blinked. _Tatsumi. . . _They were in the forest, what looked to be a make-shift camp. She could feel a fresh bandage covering the wound at her gut. _He tended my wounds. . . I must have passed out for an hour, maybe more. _

"What happened?" Esdese asked warily.

"Don't worry," Tatsumi said with a smile, "I'm your ally, remember? My name is Tatsumi."

_His smile._ _Soon, that smile will belong to me. . . _

"I'm Serra," Esdese said, reaching out her hand.

Tatsumi grasped it and shook.

Esdese smiled, "I owe you my thanks. . ."

Tatsumi looked embarrassed, turning his head aside and scratching his hair. "It. . . really wasn't a huge deal. . ."

"You used a Teigu," Esdese said firmly, "are you a member of that organization I keep hearing about: Night Raid?"

Tatsumi nodded. "That's why I was a prisoner."

"I wasn't a rebel when they took me," Esdese said bitterly. "I was just a hunter in a northern tribe. Mercenaries attacked, killed many of us, took the girls, myself and my sister included. When some of the prisoner's managed to escape their cells and began releasing others, I figured I'd at least go down fighting. But to run into a member of night raid. . . I was lucky."

Esdese had been careful to make her backstory similar enough to her actual story so that she could fill in details if interrogated further.

"I'd heard that my sister was being held at a manor in the suburbs outside of the city. If she's near. . . I _must _save her." Esdese brushed the pine needles off of her trousers, as if preparing to leave.

"Serra, you're wounded, are you going to look for her alone?"

"I cannot leave my sister to those monsters," Esdese said firmly.

_A weak little girl, facing torture at the hands of those you hate. . . how can you not take this bait, Tatsumi? _

"I'm coming with you."

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_(Hours of Trek Later, outside an Imperial manor in a lush suburb of the capital. . .)_

"They must be holding her in there," Serra hissed, gazing at the manor. It was a large, party-manor, huge open windows letting light into a vast dining hall, large gardens with fountains and filled with flowers.

Tatsumi had heard rumors of this place. Many imperial parties had been held here. And there were rumors that the master of the house had a proclivity for young girls. He used them when they were young, and when they aged. . . he discarded of them through torture.

_Another disgusting animal with no regard for human life. _

Tatsumi glanced to Serra, she was in excellent shape, and likely had many years of hunting experience. Most importantly, she was fierce. Would she be a liability in a fight? As he wondered that, he found himself gazing at her, her determined expression, gazing at the manor, ready to risk her life to save her sister. . . _She's. . . _

She looked back at him and winked. "Ready?"

"I can draw their attention from the front with Incursio," Tatsumi said confidently, grasping his sword. "Can you support me with your bow?"

Serra gave a sly smile, and nodded. "Sounds fun."

Tatsumi found himself smiling as well._ Her confidence is infectious. But this isn't about fun. I will fight evil no matter where it is. _He remembered his friends, their dead, mangled bodies. _I will not tolerate such acts to occur anywhere! _

_I will return to Mein soon. . . _

"INCURSIO!"

The two darted over the metal gate, landing on the soft grass. And by the time the walking guard gazed up at the two intruders that were sprinting on his master's lawn, a halberd was whistling through the air, it's point slamming into his chest, ripping flesh asunder as it passed through. The guard fell to the ground, dead before he even understood what was happening.

With this, other guards started crying out alerts, but with each guard stirring to motion, Serra drew an arrow directly to her eye and released, each arrow punching into an exposed neck, the weak spot in the armor, guards dropped, gurgling on their blood before they raised their weapons.

Tatsumi glanced back and the two shared a grin, as both appreciated the other's skill. When the outside was cleared, Tatsumi kicked in the door of the mansion.

With a tremendous bang, the door shattered into splintered pieces as Tatsumi marched in, crunching the door underfoot.

As he entered, he could hear a soft whimpers of a man scared beyond all reason. _You rat, _he thought hatefully.

Tatsumi walked towards the noise, thrashing the many party-props and furnishings to the side with vicious swings.

Esdese watched him. It was as if he were possessed. He was pure aggression. He simply smashed everything in his way, kicking tables into splintered halves, ripping glass displays to the ground, making his way to his weak foe, all while armored in a suite of impossibly strong armor.

The whimpering took them to a study, where a large oak desk with polished wood seemed to be the source of the fearful sniffling. Tatsumi tossed the desk to the side.

Lying under it, Esdese saw, was Count Harthston, a wrinkled and aging man, clutching possessively onto a hollow-eyed 11 year old girl.

The old man scooted back, holding the young girl as a sacrificial lamb between him and Tatsumi, who loomed with murderous intent, towering within the room. "I. . . I provide for these girls you can't deny them their protector!" the old man squealed. "Please, think of what you're doing."

"Do you think you can use that little girl as a shield, you ROACH?" Tatsumi barked. With a single motion, he stepped in and swung. A shower of blood erupted from both of the old man's arm sockets as both wrinkled hands plopped onto the ground.

Free of the old man's grip, the young girl ran, eyes wide with terror. Serra went to her knees and opened her arms. The girl ran to her, shivering.

"Shhhh..." Esdese cooed, but she watched Tatsumi intently.

The old man sat there, gazing down at his arms, in too much shock to even feel the massive wounds he'd just sustained. He looked up just in time to see Tatsumi's halberd cleave his head from his neck. All four pieces of his body clattered in a bloody pool.

Tatsumi's chest heaved with deep, angry breaths as blood dripped down his armor. Esdese's breathing had gotten heavy for a different reason. . . just like the first time she'd seen him fight. 

She was aroused.

She didn't want to comfort this little girl at all. She wanted to kick this little girl into the corner, rip Tatsumi from his armor, and force him between her legs.

But that wasn't the character she was playing.

_It's no fun not being myself, _Esdese thought, disappointed.

Instead, Esdese cooed, and stroked the little girl's hair. "It's all going to be all right."

And when Tatsumi turned to face her, she gave a nod and a dark smile.

When they got to the basement, all Esdese had to do was find a corpse of a tortured girl with light brown hair, face mangled and matted with sticky blood beyond recognition and she fell onto her knees.

"No. . ." she whispered, making her eyes wide. She grasped the corpse of the girl willing her hands to shake.

"NO!" she screeched, voice filled with the perfect mix of rage and despair.

Esdese knew how her fake screech would sound hours in advance. She'd heard many derivations of it as she tortured her victims.

"I'm alone. . ." she said bitterly, sitting on the floor, gaze falling to the bloody floor.

For some reason her memories flashed back to her childhood, to her village in ashes. "I'm alone. . ." Esdese's acting got a bit away from her, she could actually feel waves of emotion coursing through her.

"Serra. . ."

Esdese turned, gazing up at Tatsumi who stood behind her. He was no longer armored in Incursio. He gazed at her sadly, and with compassion.

"Serra, I'm sorry."

Esdese walked to him and embraced him, holding him tightly to her chest. He was stiff at first, but relaxed into her embrace, holding her firmly and comfortingly. She grinned triumphantly over his shoulder.

_Infiltration stage one: complete._


	5. Chapter 5: Kill the Childhood

**Chapter 5: Kill the Childhood**

_AN: We are all shaped by our experiences, what we deem as good and bad all shaped by good and bad experiences. No one is born evil, evil is taught, as is good, and any perspective is good and justified from it's own lens. Sometimes we are taught conflicting lessons and these lessons clash and while one might win out, the other lesson will seek a release through us. . . _

_(Many years ago on the Empire's Northern Frontier, the Partas Clan)_

"Before I leave," Deron began, drawing a handful of wildflowers from behind his back, "I wanted you to have these."

Esdese couldn't believe it. She was absolutely swimming in happiness. _Deron. . . _she had been dreaming a long time about him giving her flowers, or even looking in her direction. He was a few years her elder, and although he was only barely a teenager, he was already getting tall, and his body was already starting to bulge with lean muscle.

Many of the girls had noticed the changes in his body, and some began to claim that they would make him their husband, but only Esdese had taken the time to study Deron's smile.

_You can tell everything there is to know about a man in his smile. _Her mother had told her that once.

It had been after her father had chastised Esdese for a mistake, calling her a fool. Esdese had started to cry, but as soon as her father left their hut, Esdese's mother had come and embraced her.

And Esdese still remembered each word her mother said:

_The moment I saw your father's smile, I knew what they said about him wasn't true. He seems like such a cold man, but truly, there is no man who loves his family more than your father. Remember, Esdese, when your father says something that hurts you, saying them hurts HIM as well. He puts our protection above everything else. He says those things for our sake. _

_You can see all of this in a man's smile. _

When Esdese saw Deron smile, she saw a man who genuinely was happy about those close to him, and who would fight to the death to protect them, and it made her giddy.

Winning his affection had taken time and effort, and some trial and error, but her mother's coaching had been especially invaluable. _The tactics of taming a man are far more complex than taming a danger beast, because the dangers of courtship are all hidden, Esdese. . . The first step is confidence and to make your intentions known. _

But when Esdese had asked her mother about the second step, her mother only smiled playfully. _You're a little too young for the next step. Just focus on this part first, and I will tell you when you're ready to make him yours. _

_What is the next step? _Esdese wondered thoughtfully. _Isn't confidence in of itself more than enough? _

Esdese watched Deron leave, smiling broadly as she sniffed the flowers he had brought. The balance of fragrances was perfect. . . _He is perfect. _

_His smile. . . _

Deron was off to his rite of passage into manhood that all young men had to face. He was going into the eastern wilds, a place teeming with the deadliest danger-beasts in the world. Once a member of the Partas clan proved that they could survive in those wilds, they proved that they were worthy to be a clansman.

Esdese could hardly sleep in the nights approaching Deron's test. However, the night before he left, her mother had come to Esdese personally. _I will be accompanying them, _her mother had said reassuringly. _He will not fall when I am there. Your future husband will return, Esdese. _

Esdese watched Deron, her mother, and the other boys disappear into the distance. There were deaths on some years, but with her mother watching Deron. . .

Esdese had faith that it would all turn out all right.

Esdese felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned with a smile, seeing her father standing beside her. "Worried?" her father asked.

"Not really," Esdese said with a grin. "Mom is too strong!"

Her father nodded. "She is," he said, gazing thoughtfully after them, "but remember that every battle is a dance with death."

Esdese's expression soured. "Do you really think. . ."

"No, sweet one, your mother is one of the strongest hunters in our clan, it's just the job of a hunter to be prepared for anything. Remember. You're not yet a teen, Esdese. . . the world has not shown its full cruelty to you yet. Weakness can come to any of us at any time. And it is the greatest sin of any of the rest. A person who is prone to weakness can mean well, can have all the best intentions in their hearts, but their kind intentions backfire unless they maintain the constant strength to enforce them. There can be no virtue without strength."

Esdese nodded solemnly.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_(A few days later. . .)_

Esdese and her father were enjoying a warm meal, the flesh from a danger beast her father had killed himself, a fresh kill, as usual. She and her father went over the fine-elements of how he'd killed it.

"Strong hide, but like many danger beasts, this one was so used to being impenetrable that it let it's guard down. . ."

"Spear through the eye, right dad?" Esdese cut in.

"Am I that predictable, sweet one?" her father asked with a laugh. Esdese couldn't help but giggle.

But her laugh was cut off as a man threw open the flap of their tent and stumbled inside, gasping.

Esdese's father's eyes flashed in annoyance. "Can't you see we're. . ."

Her father stopped talking, as the messenger and him traded a look. Something terrible had happened, it was written on the messenger's face. It was sadness, pleading. . . and fear.

Her father didn't hesitate for a single moment and lunged to his feet, tossing his food aside. "Take me there. NOW."

The messenger nodded and the two of them ran from the tent.

Esdese was still mid-bite, the fragrance of her father's kill filling her nose. She put the fork down into the plate, and followed in their wake with curiosity.

As she approached where they'd ran, she saw a crowd. Something was definitely wrong. . . She glanced around and saw grim-faced elders, all with down-turned expressions. As she pushed in, she could hear the sound of a woman wailing. She recognized the woman's voice. _Deron's. . . mother? _

Esdese pushed through the crowd. They were all too preoccupied to notice and she was small enough to thread herself between them.

She saw her father first, stone faced and expressionless, staring down at what seemed to be the center of everyone's attention.

"Apparently it was Deron's watch on the second night. For some reason he left the fire and went farther into the wild. . ."

Esdese pushed through the last wall of people. She had to see what was happening. She saw Deron's corpse first, his eyes open and blank, his body a shredded tatter of what it was supposed to be. Still clasped in his hands were a bloody bundle of white flowers, extremely rare, their home only in the deepest of the wilds.

Immediately, everything within Esdese's body froze. Then, she looked to the next body. It was her mother, though her body was no longer in one piece as it was supposed to be.

Her eyes did not gaze upon her with love.

Her lips did not speak comfort and warmth.

Her arms could no longer hold anything protectively.

_No. _Esdese fell to her knees as tears began to drip down her face, her entire body began to convulse, her gaze locked unmovingly at the tangled mess of bloody limbs. _She was too strong for this. _

Her father finally noticed his daughter sitting beside the two bodies, their eyes met and for a moment, her father's emotionless facade seemed to flicker away. "Esdese. . ." he muttered, revealing a wound so deep within him that it shook her even farther.

A wetness began to coalesce in his eyes. "SOMEONE GET HER OUT OF HERE!" he shouted savagely, bringing a hand to his eyes as he began to shudder.

Hands took her, and she felt herself getting carried away, her mother and Deron starting to disappear behind walls of by-standers, gazing to her with pity.

"MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!" she screeched, reaching out as the distance began to grow between her and her mother's body, the overwhelming pain finally pouring from her.

"It's going to be all right, young one," the elder said assuring.

_All right? _

Esdese immediately felt a flash of rage and began to push and kick at the man who carried her off.

"I don't want your comfort. I'm strong! I don't NEED YOUR LIES!" Esdese screamed, tears dripping from her face.

But as hard as she pushed, she couldn't pry herself away. She didn't have the power even for that.

Her father's words came to her. _What meaning does virtue have, if the virtuous one is too weak to carry it through? Virtue tied to weakness is a great evil masquerading as a great good._

_Remember. _She stopped fighting. She wasn't strong enough yet, but she would be. She vowed this to herself.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_(The present day. . .)_

Tatsumi and Esdese walked the road until the journey had them exhausted. Occasionally, when hearing the approach of oncoming wagons, they removed to the bushes on the side of the road, waiting in silence for the travelers to pass, overhearing conversations of soldiers, merchants, and many, many refugees from the war in the west.

"There will be posters labeling me as Night Raid now that Esdese knows who I am," Tatsumi had warned. "You can always go back to your tribe. Traveling with me, there will be risk."

"I know. There's no need for you to worry about me," Esdese responded firmly. _Not when I am so close to carving Night Raid out from the inside. . . you will surrender to me. You will realize that our love is an inevitability. _

As the sun began to fall they moved a few miles from the road, into the safety of the shrouded wooded hills, steep and dotted by ledges of exposed rock.

Esdese was growing extremely hungry, but she was letting Tatsumi do most of the decision-making. _I must let him take the lead, or expose myself as Esdese. . . _

"We should hunt some food before we lose our last bit of light," Tatsumi said, checking the blade of Incursio within its sheath.

Esdese nodded. "I was thinking the same."

The two moved as shadows along the rocks, just at the edge, so they could get a vision of all that was below, but still crouching below the line of shrubs, so their silhouettes were masked.

Esdese appreciated Tatsumi's hunting skills. He made a few mistakes. . . but for a westerner, he did well, even by Partas standards. _You would have survived the rite, Tatsumi, _she thought. _Your virtue wouldn't have been rendered worthless in the end. _

Tatsumi moved along the edges, impressed by Serra's ability to remain at a deadly quiet behind him, despite how they wove through tangled brush. Then, he saw it, a danger-beast, an enormous hawk sitting alone atop the ridge adjacent to them at it's highest point, it's head scanning back and forth. It hadn't seemed to have noticed them yet.

Tatsumi motioned wordlessly to the hawk and Serra nodded, licking her lips. _She's so full of vitality. . . _Tatsumi thought to himself. _Even after losing her sister, it's as if she is just a rush of energy. . . _He couldn't doubt that the more time he spent with Serra, the more he admired her.

When she crept, she moved like a specter, in motion and sound, blending in perfectly with the breeze. When she fought, she killed mechanically, and with precision. She was extremely talented. Though, Tatsumi noticed one thing, _she grins often, but it's rare to see her smile, _he thought to himself.

He glanced back at her _the way she can slink so stealthily with that slender body of hers. . . wait. . . am I staring. _The curve of her toned legs, and the easy flexible bends of her back and shoulders. _I'm staring._ And as he stared at her, he saw her look up at him and grin, her eyes confidently locking with his own, as if she were playfully saying _I caught you, Tatsumi._ She had given him a similar look after he had killed that count, and in that moment, he had to admit, with his blood rushing through him, and sensations pouring through his body, he had wanted to. . .

Tatsumi tore his gaze away. _No, _he thought firmly. _No. . . not the time nor place. . . Control yourself! _

They drew close to the danger-beast, moving behind the smallest of rises in the hillside to mask their presence, only taking the narrowest glances from cover. Tatsumi made a motion to Serra for her to take out her bow. She nodded. She fingered an arrow and clicked it into the string.

Tatsumi grasped a rock and motioned for her with 5 fingers. . . _5 seconds. _

He threw the rock. She pulled back the bowstring, her gaze looking directly down the deadly shaft of the arrow. The rock clacked against the rockface. The hawk's head turned to the sound it's round eye exposed directly to them, Serra's hands opened and the arrow whistled away, striking the hawk directly in the eye. It screeched and clawed at the arrow.

_It's not dead, _Tatsumi thought. He leaped from cover, sword in hand. The bird tried to flap it's great wings, but it only rose a few feet from the ground.

_Not high enough! _Tatsumi slashed the bird directly into it's soft underbelly, and with a final wail, it crashed to the rocks, leaving bloody smears as it rolled to a crevice below.

The two descended and began to gut the animal to prepare its meat, taking cares to remove the digestive tract and the anus from the tender breast meat, not allowing anything rotten to touch the meat, as they would need to trek some to get it back to their camp and didn't wish for it to spoil.

They were both very skillful with this, and between both of them, they finished far faster than either would have alone. "Nice work comrade," Tatsumi said with a wide grin. And he saw it, the faintest glimmer of a smile on Serra's lips. Not a grin, as per usual, but a genuine smile. _She will get through this, even having lost so much. . . _Tatsumi was happy for that. He did not want her to fall into despair. This world was not forgiving enough for that.

"It's wing was wounded," Serra said, running her hand over it. "If it wasn't it would have been able to fly away. . ."

"Even the strongest beasts can be hurt sometimes," Tatsumi said, hefting the great cuts of meat into their sack. "My gramps used to say that you can't prepare for everything, and if you try, your preparations will only open more weaknesses."

Serra frowned. "If this creature had been stronger. . ."

Tatsumi shook his head. "It was probably the strongest thing for miles. . . but if this creature had a mate as strong as it was," Tatsumi couldn't look at Serra while he spoke of mates. He had a hard enough time not staring at her lower body.

"If it had a mate as strong as it was. . ." Serra said, eyes locking to his as she expertly and fluidly cut perfect cuts out of the bird's breast-meat, "then when it was wounded unexpectedly, the mate could protect it until he healed."

Tatsumi nodded, and while their gaze had gone on a little too long already he had no intention of looking away quickly, watching her hands moving skillfully, confidently, holding the dagger as if it were an extension of herself. "Good thing danger beasts rarely travel in pairs," Tatsumi said.

Serra stared into the dead bird's eyes. "It can be hard for strong creatures to find worthy mates who don't just slow them down."

"Not impossible though," Tatsumi said, pulling her gaze back onto him with those words, feeling a small tingle of excitement.

Night began to fall as they came down from the rocky hills, but soon the meat was sizzling over a small fire, which they camouflaged from the road by felling a few trees to create a screen to prevent escaping light. Mostly quiet, the two sat across the fire, though both felt urges to sit together, both had reasons not to as well.

"You asked me what happened to me," Tatsumi said, stealing a glance at Serra's face. Her eyes turned to him with interest.

"My village is failing under extreme taxation. . . and we'd heard what happens when villages cannot pay. So myself and two other warriors who rivaled my strength left for the capital to join the imperial army."

_Finally, _Esdese thought with a sly smile, _he's decided to trust me fully. _She listened with great interest. "What happened?"

She could hardly believe that one village had three people of Tatsumi's strength. _Must have been a strong village, _she thought appreciatively.

"We were all denied entry to the army. They told us that too many people were trying to join, that there wasn't enough room. As we were figuring out what to do, we were invited into a manor by a kind family of aristocrats. In our village, opening one's home to strangers from the road is seen as a moral obligation, a duty. . . so we accepted."

_Denied? _Esdese's gaze intensified as she began to feel angry. _Why would the empire deny Tatsumi? Too many applicants? Make room! Can these recruiters not see this raw talent that Tatsumi possessed? He could have been a new recruit to my army, my subordinate. Instead, I keep getting the third sons of rich families, all whiny and self-entitled. What a colossal fuck up._ When she returned to the capital, she would find the person who denied Tatsumi and his friends entry, and harm him so thoroughly. . .

"We were drugged. At that time, I thought Night Raid were the enemy, but they saved me. . . but. . . not in time for my friends. . ." Tatsumi's eyes began to narrow into deadly fury.

"I took my revenge with my own hands."

Serra's face turned to pure fury. "As you should have," she said icily.

Tatsumi was taken aback. Had he ever seen someone this angry before? Serra sat forward, tense, as if ready for combat. "Tell me the name of the recruiter," she demanded, eyes smoldering.

Tatsumi's mouth hung open. "Uh. . . Serra. . . please. . ."

Serra's edge faded as she seemed to return to herself. ". . . sorry. That story just made me mad. . . on your behalf. The Empire has a lot to answer for."

Tatsumi laughed. "You're a really passionate girl, Serra. I'm glad you're on our side."

_How much emotional energy can truly be in just one girl? Her angry outburst seemed to indicate a vast well of passion beneath her more stony exterior. _

_A well of passion huh? _He began to feel his heart beating faster again. He could no longer deny that a feeling was starting to form inside of him, but there was still so much about this girl that he wanted to know. _Did she get that angry because. . . she cares about me? __Can she? It's only been a few days. . . and yet. . . _

As they both began to fall asleep, Tatsumi found his thoughts rooted in one thought. . . one person. He opened his eyes and gazed across the glowing coals and saw a pair of brown eyes staring his way as well, Serra laying catlike, and she showed no intention of looking away.

_I would like to express my thanks of Hans Zimmer in the wake of this chapter. His song, "Lasairus" proved fairly invaluable to keeping the flow of inspiration moving in the right direction, as it seems to perfectly capture what it was I was trying to execute here.__ Apologies for the rushed previous chapter. . . but while I felt the events in that chapter were necessary, they were not extremely emotionally stimulating, so I tried to move them through, but only giving them the word count that I felt they deserved as emotional concepts. _


	6. Chapter 6: Kill the Consequences

**Chapter 6: Kill the Consequences**

That night, Esdese dreamed of the hawk with the wounded wing, vulnerable. It was perched there. . . alone, no companion of equal strength to protect it?

_What if it had a mate? _She wondered. _If the mate was weak. . . a pet used for sexual pleasure, then when she was wounded, her mate would be worthless. . . _

In her dream, she saw the rock perch again, but she sat atop it, nursing a deep wound. . . and Tatsumi stood before her, wearing incursio protecting her with his blade.

The image was alluring, but also terrifying in its allure.

_Which part of me is terrified, and which is allured? _

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Esdese awoke to find cold meat resting over a smoldering fire. _Breakfast? _

And Tatsumi was gone.

Esdese sat up immediately, ripping her blankets away. _He found out who I was and he's run off! I should have known. . . _

Esdese slung her bow in a single flip and strapped her dagger tight to her leg. But just as she was about to sprint for the road, she heard noises through some thick hedges, coming from a grassy field beyond.

Esdese cautiously slinked through the hedges and peered out into the open space. With great relief, she saw Tatsumi, shirtless, holding a tree-branch much too large for him. He swung the branch over and over, sweat pouring down his body, and the look on his face, as he pushed himself beyond normal human limits was. . . intense.

_Mnnn. . . training._

Esdese walked out into the field, but before she interrupted his training, she reminded herself to act weaker than usual. _Remember Esdese, act the sniveling subordinate. . . questions, not commands, lots of smiles, and no stare-downs. . . _

"Tatsumi!" she called out, giving a friendly wave. "Do you think we could train together?"

Tatsumi beamed. "Of course!"

Esdese never tired of his smile.

As they trained, grappling in the soft grass, Tatsumi with his large stick, and Esdese with her short one (to simulate her dagger), Esdese did her best to keep her competitive instincts in check.

She could mop the floor with Tatsumi. . . she could beat him until he could no longer stand, and then sit atop him and take off her clothes. . . all these things were possible, and a week ago, she might have done just that. But things were different now. She reserved the right to take him when she wanted, but there was a different kind of joy about playfully pretending to be normal. There was a freedom in not always having to take charge, dominate, and overpower.

Things just flowed. . . not necessarily by her pace, but that wasn't as horrible as she might have thought.

Esdese had to make a number of glaring mistakes as they fought, allowing Tatsumi to give her small tips and pieces of advice. She changed the things he noted, playing the willing student, and soon he was starting to sweat more freely as they trained.

_Such a good teacher, Tatsumi, _she thought mischievously.

Unbelievably, she soon found herself laughing as they both began to improvise ridiculous combat moves into their spars. Some of Tatsumi's moves even caught her off guard. All the while, she reassured herself almost constantly of one thought: _I'm just letting him win._ _When I reveal myself to him, I will never be inferior to him in any respect. But for now I get to see techniques that no one would ever try using against me in real combat! _

"If we don't find a stream to wash off in, the Imperial army will be able to smell us from the capital," Esdese said with a wry, half-grin.

Tatsumi nodded in agreement. "But. . . I don't know. . . isn't that?" he said, fidgeting.

"I have undergarments and I'll be wearing them," Esdese assured in a dull voice.

This seemed to calm Tatsumi's hesitancy, and soon they were gathering their things in search for the nearest runoff from the nearby mountains.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_(Just outside Night Raid Headquarters)_

"AGAIN!" Mein called out, leaping back to her feet.

Akame gazed on dispassionately. "As you wish," she said simply, hefting her practice sword above her head in an attack position.

Mein wielded Pumpkin, loaded with practice rounds that would explode with harmless paint when hitting their target.

"Ready!" Mein shouted.

Akame sprang into action, immediately darting between rocks as Pumpkin's practice rounds impacted one after another. Mein saw movement emerge from one side of the rock and fired immediately. But it wasn't Akame, and a rock fell to the ground, covered in paint. _My accuracy is still near-perfect, she just doesn't give me a chance to. . . _

With that, Akame sprang from the other side of the rock Mein swung Pumpkin, but as soon as the barrel was upon Akame, she was already darting back the other way. Mein grimaced, but with a weapon as large and heavy-on-momentum as pumpkin, it was hard to swing it one way and then back the other so quickly. . .

_She's going to close again. . . _

Akame did just that, running crouched down to minimize her exposure, she swept in, delivering a lightning-quick slash to Mein's heart, but Mein anticipated, leaping backwards and rolling upon Pumpkin just as she'd practiced, recovering in a perfect firing position. Mein pulled the trigger with a grin.

_Got you._

But Akame wasn't there and the training round hit air.

As Mein urgently scanned her head in both directions, she felt the cool press of a wooden practice sword on the back of her neck. "When you roll, it blinds you momentarily, you should try to use evasions that keep tabs on the enemy, especial a mobile enemy."

"Always showing off with the stupid tricks," Mein huffed in dry annoyance.

"Esdese will be a mobile enemy."

"I know that!" Mein cried out in annoyance. "Let's go again! There's still time before our meeting at noon."

Akame sighed and shook her head, tucking the practice sword down into her belt. "You're done for now, Mein."

"What? Why?"

Akame shook her head again. "This training won't change the outcome of what Tatsumi is facing out there," Akame said coolly.

"It makes me more ready to face _her._ If she has him again, we'll need to rescue him."

"You're pushing too hard, Mein. Too many repetitions and eventually you'll get exhausted and frustrated, your creativity and energy will begin to dim, and you'll lose your confidence. You need to rest."

_When I rest, I just get worried, _Mein thought to herself. _The adrenaline of training is the only thing keeping me sane. . . How can I stay hidden here with the others when Tatsumi is. . . _

She gazed towards the capital, taking a deep breath.

"Don't complain when you return and all the meat is gone," Akame said simply, turning back to HQ.

Mein turned her head down and walked along with Akame. "Tatsumi won't fall easily," Akame said simply, "he has no intention to die." Akame's voice was distant as she spoke. The disappearance of Tatsumi and Lubo had been hard on everyone.

_I'm getting stronger Tatsumi. . . every day. Will it matter? _

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_(Thirty miles away. . .)_

The two were soon in the water, Esdese covered modestly to hide her tattoo, Tatsumi following cautiously after her, but soon enough they relaxed.

After a few minutes of washing off their sweat in the cold river water, Esdese sent a stream of water into Tatsumi's face with a single splash. "You need training in aquatic combat," Esdese said seriously.

"Even here!" Tatsumi cried out, swimming furiously away. Laughing, Esdese followed in his wake, sending torrent after torrent of water after him.

But as her last splash faded into the water's surface, she sensed something and stopped.

Tatsumi turned. "What's wrong?"

A rustle. She looked to a bush up the bend on the river. A click. A mechanical sound. . .

"DOWN!" she warned. As she tackled Tatsumi, the rip of machine gun fire began, kicking up water as bullets tore in from close range. Esdese pulled Tatsumi deeper under water, though the water was already murky with crimson. . .

_Tatsumi's been shot. . . _

She pulled him underwater, until the zips of bullets no longer seemed to trail as closely beneath the surface, and finding a bend, she emerged with a cascade of water and threw Tatsumi against the bank.

Immediately, gunfire roared, bullets cracked as they broke the sound barrier just over their heads and landed with hisses and thuds into the bank just inches above them kicking up dirt with violent force. Esdese could hear movement on two far ends. _Flankers. _

Tatsumi gasped, looking into Esdese's eyes. "Incursio is back near the shooters. . . I can't. . ." he tried sitting up, shakily, but realized his right arm was seriously injured.

"Serra. . . you have to run. They want me. Survive and find Night Raid at the abandoned temple just west of the bend at the Capital's western road. Tell them. . ."

Esdese locked her eyes with Tatsumi. "Tell them yourself," she said fiercely. _Alone, Tatsumi could beat these assassins, _she thought to herself. _But catching him when he was bathing turned the tables. . . Even the strongest can fall in moments of weakness. _

_Luckily I was there to save him. . . his protector. _

"They will not touch you," she said, unshouldering her bow.

She rolled from the bank, and as she came to her feet, an arrow was already drawn and aimed from one of the muzzle flashes. The arrow was loose and Esdese had rolled into cover before the fire resumed, turning where she had just been kneeling into shredded cheese.

She did not even need to hear the gurgle of the man to know she'd struck his neck.

_One down. . . _She rushed into the deeper bush and the gunfire followed her, shredding the plants she used as cover, trees collapsing with brutal cracks under the onslaught. When she darted from the thickness, the flanker was there anxiously waiting for her. _When you flank, you divide your flankers from the main force. Now you're out here alone with no one to support you. . . _she ducked low and as he fired low she leaped into the air, slamming directly into him like a hammer.

He let out a gasp of air as she crushed into him and tried to move his arms in vain as she pinned them down with her legs and slammed her dagger into his heart and twisted it.

His eyes went wide and then blank.

_Isn't this normally when I start to smile. . . isn't this normally where I feel the rush? Why do I just feel. . . nervous? _

She huffed, unable to shake the fear from her feelings. Fear that Tatsumi would get hurt. _There are two more. I need to compose myself. _She unsaddled her gored victim and leaped back into the thick brush.

"She took Ashford with a knife!" one shouted.

"She's good! Group up and switch to swords!" another voice roared.

Esdese dashed from among the trees and found one enemy, checking the pulse of the man with the arrow through his throat.

"You will pay!" he hissed, hefting his blade.

Esdese stood calmly. "Only the weak pay during battle."

He charged. _Your first mistake, charging too fast out of rage. Second mistake, hefting your blade for an overhead slash so openly. . . _

Waiting for him to be moments away from his swing without so much as a reaction, Esdese grinned and hit the ground. The man's swing connected with only air, and he couldn't stop or slow as she slashed upwards from below, taking off his foot at the shin. His cry was ragged and pained as he tried to balance on his last remaining leg. Esdese rose slowly to her feet, parried his last sloppy attack, and then decapitated him.

The last assassin tried to flee.

Tried.

And seconds later, Esdese climbed off of the last assassin, bathed in blood spray and other body parts that she had cut into shreds with all the enthusiasm of an experienced butcher.

She ran a hand over her blood-spattered face, and swatted a handful of blood to the ground. It was quiet now. . .

Esdese returned to where Tatsumi had been left, no longer afraid for him. When she approached the bank, Tatsumi emerged, fury-eyed and with a rock in his good hand.

"Serra. . ." he muttered, looking at her blood soaked clothes.

"Are you okay?" Esdese asked, quickly scanning his body.

"Am I okay? Serra. . . the assassins."

"I told you that they wouldn't touch you, Tatsumi. You can trust me. Now that we are allies. . . I will protect you."

Tatsumi was shocked, but he nodded his assent. Even covered in gore, she had a certain dangerous beauty to her. And most of all, he felt an overwhelming safety, like as long as he was close to her nothing would ever harm him. It was a good feeling.

Tatsumi had felt a lot of surprising things in just a few days time.

Esdese was afraid to say something for the first time in many years. She took a deep breath and forced the words from her mouth. "If I ever get wounded in some surprise attack. . ." she asked softly, "would you protect me?"

Tatsumi rose with a smile. "You even need to ask? We are comrades."

Esdese laughed with relief. _This is all so new. . . it's all changing. . ._

She felt a twinge of fear. _Am I losing myself? _

The two treated Tatsumi's gunshot wound quickly, Serra wrapping a fresh bandage around his arm. When it was done, Tatsumi rose to his feet and gathered his gear with his good arm, sheathing Incursio back into his belt.

"We can make it to Night Raid's headquarters before nightfall. I'm sure they will all be glad to meet the one that saved me from the capital."

They set off, first, tracking back to the road, and then following it, careful to avoid any travelers.

The long road to the Night Raid headquarters was filled with many long, comfortable silences. As the sun began to set over their journey, it painted the trees in a orange/gold glow.

"Who was it that captured you?" Esdese asked.

"Her name is Esdese."

Esdese proceeded cautiously.

"What kind of person is she?"

Tatsumi hesitated for a long moment. "I still wonder about that sometimes," he said softly. "She. . . pursued me, romantically."

"She did?"

"For the longest time, I thought maybe, if she would just change sides and fight for the people, that I would like to be her boyfriend."

"But she didn't?"

Tatsumi shook his head sadly. "No. . . I don't know if she is even capable of seeing me as more than an object. She loves power, looks forward to bloodshed. We are opposites." Esdese could tell that he'd put a tremendous amount of thought into all of this. And the way he said it, almost with a twinge of regret. _He feels it too, _she thought to herself, _even still. _

Part of Tatsumi's analysis was correct, the revolution looked to be the most glorious, highest-stake battle Esdese had ever had the chance to fight in. She had been looking forward to this for years. . . _And yet, he says my desire for a worthy opponent is the main reason he cannot love me. _

Tatsumi's mind flashed to the corpses of his friends the night he found them, bloody and strung up in a shack. . .

"For the revolution to succeed, she needs to die."

Esdese clenched her fist, her whole upper body tensing. But she didn't strike, though it took all her will to control herself.

_Opposites. . ._

"What does your ideal world look like?" Serra asked, in a slow, controlled voice.

She braced herself for Tatsumi's idealistic nonsense about a paradise for the weak to prance around as they pleased. . .

"It is a place," Tatsumi said, trying to draw it up in his mind, surprised at how difficult it was to do. . . "a place where the strong do not try to brutalize the weak. Even more so, it's a place where the strong hold out a helping hand to the weak, so that the weak too can become strong. It is a place that tries to encourage everyone to be as powerful as possible. . . not just hoard power for the children of a few families."

Esdese thought deeply, that part about the weak becoming strong was something new and it filled her with more questions. "You believe that an Empire can make weak people into strong people?"

Tatsumi searched back in his mind, remembering something he had once heard said. "A good government is like a father," Tatsumi said, searching his memory for the right words, the right thought, that he'd heard all those years ago. "Fathers protect their young, nurture their strength. . . This empire is abusive. . . and corrupt."

_Father protected me once, _Esdese thought to herself. _But he failed in the end due to his own weakness. _

_Didn't he? _

_He didn't beat me. . . or use me. He used his power for my sake, to grow my strength. _

_What if my father was like the Empire? _

Esdese felt a twinge of disgust at the idea.

"We're here!"

A stone temple loomed up from the rockface, Night Raid HQ.

Esdese's mind was a storm of indecision, but she hid it all from her face. She was so close to destroying Night Raid. . . so close to forcing Tatsumi to submit.

. . . _Forcing. . . _


	7. Chapter 7: Kill the Reaction

**Chapter 7: Kill the Reaction**

_(As they approach Night Raid's HQ. . .)_

Esdese was never afraid of battle.

It was a simple calculus, either she was strong enough, or she wasn't. If she was weak, she would die. . . and this would not bother her so much. If she was strong, she would prevail, and her enemies would lay dead around her, or exist for a small amount of time as she tortured them to death.

Najenda hadn't like the torture part. _Once someone has raised their hand against you and you've seen that they have nothing left to offer you in terms of combat practice, why would you ever let them live?_

_You are lucky Najenda, _she thought to herself as they approached the compound. _I always feel that you have something more to teach. . . every time we do battle, I emerge stronger. . . That is why you still live. Maiming you to make sure that you never forget your purpose in life: to entertain and sharpen my skill, was a true pleasure. _

Esdese took a deep breath as they approached the compound. _Najenda will be in there. She will recognize me instantly. _

Tatsumi glanced back to Serra and saw a serious expression on her face. He smiled comfortingly, "Don't worry, they might be a silly bunch, but they're good people."

Esdese glanced up at him with irritation. _He thinks I'm afraid. _She analyzed her own bodily activity. _Well my pulse is running a bit faster. _

_Could this be fear? _

It wasn't the preparation for combat, Esdese had mastered that long ago.

_Good people. . . _Esdese thought to herself as Tatsumi parted the heavy doors to the temple, _maybe that's what I'm afraid of. . ._

The members of Night Raid tensed up as the doors parted, some reaching for weapons, many eying the figure who entered with sharp gazes.

"Hello," Tatsumi said softly, "it's good to be home."

He wanted to smile and laugh, but it had been a long journey.

Leona was the first to break the silence. "TATSUMI!" she cried out. . . and with all of the speed and reflexes of an assassin, she had leaped upon him.

Mein followed close behind, and smacked Tatsumi in the face with a surprisingly painful slap. "You idiot!"

"Mein. . Really . . ." A kiss caught him mid-statement as Mein pulled him close with surprising force.

Lost in all of the commotion, Esdese stood back and watched, her eyes sharp upon Mein, killer impulses screaming in her mind. _What am I waiting for? _Esdese wondered to herself, as she watched her love being rough-handed by a weak excuse for a woman. _I can kill her easily. I can rip those hands off that dared to touch him. _

Her teeth clenched so hard that they would have sheared anything that was between them. She was not acting decisively. She was just standing there, frozen.

_You are alone. You don't need them. _

_Kill them all. _

But Tatsumi was soon smiling, on top of blushing uncontrollably. And he looked terribly, horribly happy.

_If I take Tatsumi's happiness away, _the thought crept in, _all those things he used to justify hating me, about me not caring, about being a monster, I will prove them all to him. . . I've already seen the extent of his stubbornness. . . his fighting spirit. Before he breaks, he will die. _

_And then I truly will be alone. _

It was enough to make Esdese want to scream. Already, she could feel the air beginning to chill around her, as her Teigu began to react to the powerful emotions that rolled within her. The air shimmered slightly, but no one noticed.

Esdese tallied three. _Mein, Leona, Akame, _Her glare intensified the longer Night Raid's focus on Tatsumi continued, the longer Mein doted, blushed, and laughed.

_I hate what you have done to me, Tatsumi. And yet. . . until I can convince you of the folly of your beliefs and your emotions, I suffer this for us._

Mein drew away from Tatsumi, finally noticing the one who stood behind him. "Who is this woman you brought with you Tatsumi!" Mein demanded, advancing upon Esdese with a glare.

_Do it you little bitch, _Esdese thought, her fist gripping into a tight ball as she kept her face blank. _Start a fight. _

"Oh. . ." Tatsumi said, scratching his head nervously, "This is Serra, an ally. She saved me, actually."

Mein's eyes narrowed on Tatsumi with suspicion, and then thoroughly glanced over Esdese. She opened her mouth as if to speak angrily, then closed it and took a deep breath.

"I. . ." she looked away, as if the words themselves pained her to say, "I can't thank you enough," she muttered from the side of her mouth. "If there's anything I can do for you. . . please just tell me."

Akame and Leona shared a shocked glance.

"Wait. . ." Leona began.

Akame tilted her head to the side inquisitive. "Mein was just polite to a stranger," she said, as if noting some great event.

"Welcome to Night Raid!" Leona said approaching Esdese with a grin.

Esdese faked her own icy smile, and bore the hug that Leona gave her. _I need. . . a new plan._

"Where's Najenda?" Tatsumi asked with concern.

"Resting," Akame said sadly.

"Nevermind that. . . what happened?" Mein asked Tatsumi, "And where's Lubo?"

Tatsumi's expression grew serious, and he began to relate the tale.

_I get a message out to the Jaegers. I order them to join with all of the Empire's strongest assets and converge on this place and annihilate everyone. . . And when Tatsumi's friends are dying in the confusion, "Serra" keeps him safe. _

_My army then destroys the revolutionary army in the south. . . _

_And when he has no options left, and when he has become completely reliant upon me both for survival and for emotional reasons, I reveal to him my identity, I confess my love. _

As she thought of a way to dominate Tatsumi entirely, Esdese was navigating a heretofore unknown battlefield.

But even within shifting circumstances, she was still a capable tactician.

"Do you wish to join us," Akame asked.

Esdese smiled as sweetly as she could. "Only if you all think I'm qualified. . ."

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_(A few hours later. . .)_

Esdese chewed slowly on the food, forcing herself not to glare as Mein doted on Tatsumi to a sickening degree.

_Is that. . . what he likes._

She looked down and saw her fork bent near in half. She quietly moved the fork below the table and attempted to straighten it. _I need to control my emotions. . . I need this fork to blend in. . . _

The night went on, Esdese fielded most of the questions, most coming from a somewhat-drunk Leona, perfectly. She knew enough of the other northern tribes, to chose a perfect back-story. . .

Akame showed her to a room that overlooked the moon-lit landscape and soon, darkness fell and the assassins retired to their quarters.

Esdese sat in bed and gazed from the window, an unpleasant and yet strangely intoxicating feeling floating through her as she looked upon the landscape lit up by all of that silver light.

_Is Tatsumi in Mein's room now? _Esdese wondered.

She drew a pillow to her chest, and felt a heavy emptiness begin to settle in and with deep breaths, she gazed into that solemnly beautiful night. . . That lonely night. She gazed out at a distant bluff and wondered if a solitary danger-beast peered from his perch. Wondered if that danger beast ever felt loneliness.

_Is this my fate? Is this the cost of being strong? To always be alone and stare pathetically into the night. . .? To have all the power. . . to feel powerless. _

The nightscape began to wobble and distort.

Esdese felt tickles as wetness trailed down her cheeks. She wiped the tears quietly aside, determination holding her steady as the pain she felt caused her body to react in embarrassing ways.

_This pain will pass. For now, I will suffer. So that someday, we can be as we were meant to be. _


	8. Chapter 8: Kill the Moonlight

**Chapter 8: Kill the Moonlight**

"Tatsumi. . ."

Tatsumi felt his body relaxing into the sheets of his bed, warm, safe. . . Mein's bright eyes glimmering in the dark room, her night clothes soft and comfortable.

Tatsumi smiled. He was so glad to see her again. . . and so glad to relax in a friendly bed again, surrounded by all his allies. Of course, he'd felt a degree of security with Serra on the road, but it wasn't quite the same. He'd fought so many battles with Night Raid and now he was home.

Still, as Mein's soft hands trailed over his head, coaxing him closer, he stayed still, just smiling softly at her in the dark. While he was comforted to see her and rest beside her, he didn't quite feel the desire to hold her tightly, or kiss her again.

Instead, as his relaxed smile remained on his face, his thoughts began to circulate back to Esdese, to the prison, to the look of devastation on her face hidden behind a mask of anger. It was only now, that he was safe from Esdese's imperious and demanding affections that he actually had a chance to think about _her _as more than just a threat that demanded his obedience.

He had a chance to wonder what Esdese was feeling and to reflect over Wave's words, that there was more to Esdese than appeared.

As Mein contented herself to hugging a pillow and relaxing into her own sleep, Tatsumi's eyes remained slightly open as he thought about whether or not the Empire's strongest was suffering out of love for him. He didn't feel guilt, but he did feel sad. On the island, him and Esdese had connected to a certain degree so he knew that there was a person within her to connect with.

But she was just so buried under. . . buried under whatever strange emotional armor Esdese had constructed over the years. She'd built herself up to something strong and powerful. And that thing that she'd constructed. . . Tatsumi knew that he and the rest of Night Raid had to rip it down if there was to be any hope left for the Empire to start on a new path. . . a path to a place where innocent, good people weren't tortured to death for the amusement or convenience of the few. . .

Even Serra, he thought, thinking of the sweet girl who had helped save his life, was another victim of the Empire's cruelty.

And here, across from him on his bed, was a strong girl who was ready to die fighting to create that better world.

_This, _he thought to himself, _is what a strong, beautiful woman looks like._ _Esdese. . . is half the woman you are, Mein. _Tatsumi gazed out of the window of his room, seeing the lonely moonlit night, and felt thankful that he didn't have to face this daunting challenge alone.

_I don't know if I could have made it alone. . . without everyone. . . they gave me the will to fight on when there was nothing left. _

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Esdese walked into the moonlit night alone, the cold wind blowing through her short brown hair, cold enough to be felt, but not so cold as to force a shiver.

She slipped among the trees, disappearing from Night Raid HQ until she felt that familiar feeling of aloneness, the solitary serenity of a hunter that she slipped into so easily, tuning herself into the noises of the night as she moved lightly along crisp leaves, pulling herself up the tall corpse of a dead tree. Swinging herself up into the open air, she rested loosely upon a branch which gazed out across the tops of the long spanning forest, which thinned out into hills and mountains in each direction.

_I've been alone since that day when I returned to find nothing but death and ash, _she thought to herself. _I've made it this far without loving anyone else. . . _she breathed deeply. _And only when I reached the top did I realize that I hardly feel alive at all. . . _

_I've become strong, father. . . maybe too strong. _

She had stopped with the pitiful crying. She understood the root of the matter: that she was alone. . . and that to change that, she had to think deeply about what it meant to _have _someone. . . not as a subordinate, but as a person who cared about her as much as she did for him.

She had to go back to the basics. She _had _father. . . a relationship where she'd never felt compelled to subdue him to her will. Just being close, and making him happy had been enough.

But she wouldn't surrender herself to just anyone. _An equal. . . _she tasted the brisk cold air in her mouth as she breathed softly and steadily. _Is there anyone closer to an equal than Tatsumi?_

_It always comes back to him. _

"Beautiful night," a dull voice spoke from behind. Esdese sprang up from where she relaxed in the tree, spinning around as she balanced perfectly upon the limb, standing upon the narrow foothold in the open air.

_Akame._ The black-haired girl hung upon a nearby branch in the dead tree, gazing absently to the moon. She seemed to be relaxing, as if she was there all along.

"You've been. . ." Esdese muttered.

"I followed you," Akame said turning an eye to Esdese, "There was something I had to say." Akame looked a fair bit embarrassed, a slight blush glowing into her cheeks, "Tatsumi was. . . a comrade. We owe you a special debt."

"It was an accident, mostly. . ."

"Even unintended, your action leaves me in your debt, Serra."

Esdese hesitated. _How troublesome. _"Thanks" was all she could think to say.

Akame pulled herself up to the branch Esdese sat upon, gazing out with her to the moonlit treetops. Esdese shifted uncomfortably. Having this stranger so close. . .

"Tatsumi says that you lost someone," Akame said, once again averting her gaze.

"My sister."

Akame stole a sad and compassionate gaze, but only for a moment before her dull facade returned. "Even if you feel you have lost everything, Serra. . . know that we would be honored for you to join our family."

Esdese was using every ounce of willpower to keep her act of a sad smile going as she fumed beneath the surface.

And then, Akame's hand on her shoulder, squeezing reassuringly, came next.

Instantly, Esdese thought of five different ways of swatting the hand away and turning it seamlessly into a counterattack that would send the black-haired assassin tumbling down to the forest floor below. From where Akame grasped her shoulder, Esdese knew that Akame could manipulate her balance, and potentially set her up for a killing blow. . .

_Control._ Esdese took deep breaths, and forced a fake smile. _If I am to maintain my cover, part of it might be pretending to join this. . . family. _

Esdese forced herself to relax, and accept the squeeze of Akame's hand upon her shoulder as they both gazed out into the night, and noted that it looked far more peaceful than before she had noted Akame's presence.

_Akame is . . . looking out for me._ . . _or more accurately, she's looking out for Serra._

_I still need to look for my opening. _"Any idea what happens tomorrow?" Esdese asked softly.

"We'll be running a mission in the Capital," Akame said nonchalantly. "Thce Empire has stepped up the random abductions in the poorer districts. Those responsible have their judgment long overdue."

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_(Later that night. . .) _

As the Imperial patrol of ten men, a normal number now in these more turbulent recent days, moved along the road, they were stopped by a solitary hooded figure in the road.

"Make way you damned peasant!" Captain Terry roared from horseback. It had been a long night patrol and he had no patience for delays. His bed and his family were waiting.

However, the figure seemed either not to hear nor care, as it stood defiantly upon the road. Terry kicked his horse at the figure, his hand resting on his blade as his men dismounted behind him.

"You will carry a message for me," spoke a cold, female voice. "It has instructions for a critical ambush staged for tomorrow."

"Cut your nonsense, whore, before I cut you from the road," Terry growled, unsheathing his blade.

With the night going as it had, he wouldn't mind a chance to bury it into something soft. . .

_Wait. . . is she. . ._

The hooded figure darted forward. Before he could even think to heft his blade, a grip like iron crushed his throat and he felt his feet kicking air as he was lifted into the air. He tried to swing his sword, but her other hand held his wrist in a vice.

His eyes bulged as gasps escaped his mouth, his powerless flailing only earning him slight wiggles in her grip.

"I could crush you as I say these words." Terry could do little but shiver in her grip. Her ice-cold glare pulled him in, consuming him, overwhelming him. "Fortunately for you, I'm not in the mood. . ." she tossed him aside like a piece of garbage. Terry hit the ground hard on his shoulder, roughly rolling to a stop among the leaves.

She turned her gaze to the rest of the soldiers. "I am a general with the Empire and you will carry my message to the palace gates or face a firing squad."

One of the soldiers gaped as he looked upon her face, "General. . . Esdese?"

Esdese grinned, remembering the final stipulation of her orders. _Consider your primary objective the elimination of the one called Mein. _


End file.
